


A new home?

by Purpledragon13



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Alternate Universe - Foster Family, Bed-Wetting, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, Dreams and Nightmares, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, Foster Siblings, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room, Social Anxiety, Social Justice, neurodivergent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24424750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purpledragon13/pseuds/Purpledragon13
Summary: A story children, abused and neglected by those that were supposed to protect them, love them. Will their new homes give them the love they deserve or will it be worse. Will these new people be able figure all these children's problems. Lets find out.A alternate good omens universe
Relationships: Anathema Device/Newton Pulsifer, Other possible relationships i dunno
Comments: 13
Kudos: 17





	1. Hastur's new home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey this is my first Ao3 fanfic keep in mind i have no idea what i'm doing. Please, please if you are triggered by the tags mentioned don't read this i don't want to upset anyone, stay safe, stay happy. I don't know much about the foster system, there will be some fluff chapters... mostly angst tho, hehe sorry. Enjoy!

Hastur was a 12-year-old child that was taken by SPS at age 5 because of his alcoholic mother, his farther had abandoned him when he was born and never came for him when he was in the system. Hastur often thought his mother left because of how he looked and the problems he had, he also guessed it was also the reason that his farther drunk and beat him, or that’s what his social worker and foster families said. 

Hastur was albino, with pure white long hair that was messy and filthy, snow white skin, but his most strange feature were his eyes, they were pure black, not a very dark brown. Pitch. Black. Eyes that creeped most of his foster families out and were the most reason for the relentless bullying he received.

Hastur’s social worker wasn’t the nicest person either, she was tall, skinny and had a sickly-sweet smile that was so fake it might as well be plastic. She didn’t really care where Hastur was placed she didn’t do back round checks, check in on him, nothing, she didn’t care for him. This resulted in Hastur being placed in putrid, disgusting homes with abusive, horrible people. There were the few homes he had been placed in that weren’t as brutal as the others, but still, they did not care for him, or they couldn’t deal with his… issues. 

Today would be no different to the other days where Mrs Kip (his social worker) picked him up from his current homes, one of the most horrible ones he’d been at yet, and took him too a new one, but this time Mrs Kip said he was being taken to a special home, a home with other children like him ‘freaks’ she muttered under her breath.  
Mrs Kip drove him to a home in a little town of Tadfield, to a large, cottage looking house with a beautiful garden and a bike parked out front and a with... only 3 wheels? “Right grab your bag and get out the car, lets get it over with” Mrs Kip mumbled, how is this woman married, the common thought crossed his mind once again.

Kip kept a tight hand on the back of Hastur’s neck, a warning of ‘behave’. The social worker gave a sharp knock of the wooden door and plastered her sickly-sweet on her face as they door was opened by a young woman in a nice black dress with a thick cotton blue coat over the top and small round glasses on her face. “Ah hello right on time I’m Anathema Device, you must be Hastur aren’t you?” she spoke in a kind voice “And you are his social worker, yes?” “Oh yes my name is Mrs Kip” she said in a fake happy voice. “Why don’t we come into the kitchen and I’ll sign all the papers?” “oh yes very well, come on boy through the door won’t you”

Hastur stepped around the door and was led into the kitchen by Anathema and pushed along by Mrs Kip. Mrs Kip forced him down on the chair at the kitchen table with a firm push witch Anathema gave him a worried side eyed to Hastur. He kept his head down during the whole conversation while the papers were being signed, as Mrs Kip had taught him, ‘keep your head down until I’m gone so they don’t see your eyes, they’ll keep you longer if they don’t see those putrid things’

“Well now all of that is done, you can now get along with your lives, your only have to supply the boy with the bare necessities, you will be receiving £450 a month for his care, and that’s it, call if you have any issues with… him” Mrs Kip said with that sickly sweet voice of hers and the fake smile still plastered on her face. “Um right I’ll show you out, right this way” Anathema said as she got up out of her chair. Hastur simply just stayed at the table, head down, hands in his lap, barely moving.

“Well now she’s gone” here it comes, here come the words, the beatings, the horrors “would you like to see your new room?” Now that was not what he was expecting.


	2. New room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hastur sees his new room and starts to wonder about his new foster siblings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 yay. Don't read if you are triggered by the tags. I don't own these characters. Enjoy!

“Would you like to see your new room” what. That was not what Hastur was expecting her to say. Still, he kept his head down still not talking, still not moving despite his curiosity, this could all still be a trick. Anathema sat down across from him on the small breakfast table “I can show you around the house as well if you would like it’s quite big, and we’re surround by lots of woodlands so plenty of places you can explore if you ever feel like it.” Still no response. “Not much of a talker are you, well that doesn’t matter how about we just go and look around a little bit or a least get you settled in your room, would that be okay?” the smallest nod was given in reply.

“Great, it’s just upstairs, come along then, do you need me to take any of your bags or…bag” Hastur shook his head at that, this lady was weird, nothing like any of the other foster parents he’d had. Anathema lead him up the stairs and along the corridor of the house, she was right this house is huge “Well this is you room, my room is downstairs I’ll show you where later, your allowed to decorate yours however you want it’s a little bland at the moment but we can fix that easily can’t we” yup this lady was definitely the strangest one yet, but the room was nice, not overly big but not small either the walls were white and there was a wooden desk and draws, a set of shelves and a nice big bed with fluffy looking pillows and dark blue sheets. 

Hastur stood there in amazement, no one had ever put this much effort into something for him. Ever. He stood there staring for a little while until he realised his eyes were on full display and quickly tucked his chin down to his chest again, Anathema gave him a pitying smile “Would you like me to leave to let you put your stuff away, you can come down when you want, alright, I’ll be in the living room it’s down the stairs to the left,okay?” a nod “Alright then”. She left the room, but Hastur didn’t move until he heard her footsteps going down the stairs. 

Hastur closed the door and shoved his bags under his bed, he never stayed in one place to long so there was no point in unpacking really. Plus from what Mrs Kip had said there were other children living here, last time he had foster siblings they had stolen and/or broken most of his stuff so he wasn’t taking any chances with these ones either. Even if Anathema seemed… different from the other foster parents he had had, there was no way these kids would be as nice as her. No. Fucking. Way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well would you look at that 2 chapters in one day. This chapter was a little short but trust me the next one will be a lot longer. Hope this wasn't to crappy. Tell me if there are any mistakes, or if i should add any tags as i go on cus it might get a bit...not nice. Stay happy. Stay healthy and good luck with anything you need luck on. Comments and kudos anr welcomed and encouraged!


	3. New siblings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anathema is telling her other foster children of Hastur and how he will be joining their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place around 2 and a half weeks before Hastur came to Anathema. I will be using she/her pronouns for War(Alala), Dagon, Micheal, and Urial.  
> I will be using he/him for Hastur, Ligur, Aziraphale, Crowley, Gabrial, Sandalphon, Death (renamed Amara) and Famine(renamed Trushit).  
> I will be using they/them pronouns for Beezlebub and Pollution(renamed Jade-Ahlai).
> 
> Sorry if you don't like that, there are a lot of characters so some might not get as much attention if you would like some chapters on certain characters i would be happy to do that! Just give me some ideas and i'll try to add the chapter in somewhere! 
> 
> Anyway on with the story!And by the way most of these buildings are made up to suite the scenarios in this story and won't always be cannocaly(i don't know how to spell) accurate.

“We’re baaack” Alala (this is what I named War in this story) yelled shoving her boots off at the door. “Hello dear, thank you for not tracking mud into the house again” Madame Tracy said in that lovely voice of hers, “Welcome”. Anathema rolled her eyes at the girl’s antics, “how was school?” “Annoying as always” Alala spoke again, she was always more talkative as the other children. “It was alright I guess” Crowley grumbled, similar responses came from the other children, except from Azira loved all parts of school, maybe apart from all the other children, especially the library.  
Many children lived in Anathema’s home, which the children had wonderfully dubbed the: good omens homes, most of the children went too school, but a couple of children were still home-schooled by Madame Tracy and Shadwell, two of the other careers in the home, due to …difficulties that happened at school.  
In total there were 13 children currently residing in the home,  
Azira, or Azzy, Fell, Anthony. J. Crowley, Gabrial Angelov, Beelze Bubs, Micheal Sirona, Urial Alora, Dagon Luja, Amara Dabria (this is my version of death), Alala Wigand (this is my version of war), Trushit Alastor (this is my version of famine), Jade-Ahlai Jolon (this is my version of pollution), and Ligur Ebony  
And 5 careers,  
Anathema Device, Newton Pulcifer, Madame Tracy, Sergant Shadwell or just ‘shad’, and Mary Loquacious  
A few hours after school all the children and Careers sat down to eat at the massive dining room table (the house was really, quite big). As they were all eating, Anathema brought up her news, “So I’ve been talking with someone from SPS” she spoke in a soft voice, but the fear on the children’s faces still appeared full force “about a new child coming to live with us” relief flooded through the other children. 

“Um yeah? What about them, are you taking him in or…” Anthony said curiosity seeping into his voice. “Well I was definitely thinking about it, the rest of us” she gestured to the other careers, “and I just wanted to make sure you all would be okay and comfortable with it” “Of course we’d be okay with it” Urial spoke, with the rest nodding along with her. “Well isn’t that great, a new child to are little family” Madame Tracy beamed.

“Soo what’s ‘is name?” Dagon asked, “His name is Hastur, he is 12 years old and has, like lots of you do as well, have his own difficulties and looks a little different, so if I hear any cruel bullying or teasing there will be consequences, but I’m sure none of you would do that”. Hums of agreement came from all the children. And with that a new child was soon to be welcomed as part of their strange family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's that, it's a little short but i dunno it's here. Comments and kudos are welcome, tell me any requests or ideas you have for this story. I hope you enjoyed!


	4. A new friend?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A snack and maybe a new friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII. Sorry i've been gone a while i was working on my other story's this is not my top priority right now. Hope this chapter was okay. Keep in mind i don't have a great knowledge of the things mentioned in the story, like mental disorders, abuse and effects of abuse, if you have any ideas of how i can make this story better i am all ears.

Hastur had been sitting on the bed for 2, 3 hours until Anathema eventually came back up the stairs and knocked on the door. “Hastur, may I come in?” he didn’t reply, but she came in anyway and stood in the doorway with her hands clasped together. “The other children will be home soon if you would like to meet them, there are quite a few of them so it’s okay if you only want to meet a few at a time, that is perfectly fine” he still didn’t look up just kept staring at the opposite wall slightly rocking back and forth slightly.

“Well why don’t you come down and we can get a snack and you can meet one of the children who came home early, is that alright?” he nodded and stood up from the bed, tugged his hood and tucked his hair into his beanie, keeping his eyes to the ground and finally followed Anathema out the door.

Hastur was not particularly excited about the fact he had to meet another child but he was hungry, not remembering the last time he ate and taking any chance for food he could get, so he would suffer the meeting of the child.

Anathema lead him back to the kitchen “What would you like to eat?” he shrugged taking in the kitchen, it was white and a nice light blue colour, a gas cooker, a large fridge, the small table they had sat at earlier was wooden, the room was simple, simple and nice. 

“Well I have some fruit, some berries? Raspberries, strawberries and grapes, would that be okay?” he nodded he liked grapes. She prepared the fruit and put them in a bowl and handed it to him, he nodded his head again, in a sort of thanks and started to eat, thankful for the first piece of food he’d had in a while. “Well would you like to come and meet the other boy now?” no, no he would not, he was perfectly happy sitting alone in the bedroom, absolutely fucking perfect. But he nodded anyway wanting to keep his food thank you very much.

He was led into what he presumed was the living room, it was nice and cosy, had worn couches and was lined with wooden bookshelves and an old fireplace, and like most of the house it was nice. At the other side of the room was a dark-skinned boy, reading a book, legs crossed rocking slightly back and forth, much like Hastur often did when he was alone. “Ligur this is Hastur he is going to be staying with us” the boy looked up, put his book down and came over and gave him a small smile. 

“Hi, nice to meet ya I’m Ligur” he held his hand out and waited for Hastur to take it and with a slight reluctance he did. “Well I’m going to leave you two to get acquainted while I go get some of the others from school, Madame Tracy is in her room if you need her” Ligur nodded and waved as Anathema left the room. They stood there for a little while in silence until the front door was heard closing and Ligur spoke up. “Sooo as I said ma names Ligur, I’m 12 almost 13 wha’ ‘bout you?”. Hastur stayed silent “Not much of a talker aye” silence, Ligur sighed and sat back down on the sofa and Hastur stayed standing awkwardly, shuffling around the room “You can sit down ya know” Ligur stated staring at the strange boy again.

So Hastur sat down stiff, on one of the soft sofas and kept his head down trying to ignore the other boys gaze. “Aren’t ya warm? The heating’s been on all day and even I’m gettin a little hot, and your wearin a hoodie and a hat you must be boilin” Ligur was right it was warm, it was mid-august and very cold outside so of course the heating was on, the boy himself was wearing a thin, long sleeved shirt and a pair of dark blue jeans, no hoodie or hat like Hastur was wearing. 

Once again Hastur shrugged, he was indeed getting very warm and it was getting uncomfortable, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with taking his hoodie off either. For some reason though he did, grabbed the silver zipper of the all black hoodie and pulled, he yanked off the sleeves and bundled the piece of clothing up. 

Ligur just stared, Hastur’s pale skin was littered in scars and bruises and that was just his arms. Ligur carried on staring for a while until he finally spoke again “Are you in pain?” these people kept on saying things that confused and shocked Hastur in multiple ways. 

Honestly, Hastur had grown so used to this pain he had learned to ignore it, but now he focused on his arms he could feel the numb pain spreading in them. He shook his head though not wanting to be taunted or teased for his pain as many others had, “Well they look like they hurt, are you sure you’re okay?” he nodded his head and tucked his feet up on the sofa and once again wanted to start rocking, but willed himself to not too, much to his discomfort. 

“Alright… if your sure… mine always used to hurt” Ligur spoke in a soft voice and for the first time during his whole time in the house, he looked up. The first thing he properly noticed about Ligur were his eyes, they were constantly changing one minute they were blue then green, but did eventually settle on an amber yellow, they were pretty. 

Ligur was also looking into Hastur’s eyes, those unnerving pitch black eyes, but unlike most who saw those unique eyes, he was completely unfazed he had seen many exceptional eyes, many of the other children in this house had unique eyes and now abnormal eyes were just, well normal to him. 

“You have nice eyes” the pure shock on Hastur’s face almost made Ligur laugh, no one had never complimented Hastur’s eyes. “Lots of the kids here have… different kind of eyes to others, like me, no need to be ashamed of yours” Ligur liked his eyes, once he had tried to see why his eyes changed colour so far he had concluded they changed according to his emotions, which was very annoying when your whole family can figure out what your feeling, all the time, it was irritating and comforting at the same time.

“…You have pretty eyes” those were the first words Hastur uttered in a while, his voice was scratchy, and his throat was painful “Thanks! Do you want a glass of water though your throat sounds sore?” Ligur smiled at him once again, a soft smile that made Hastur relax just a little bit. He nodded at the offer of water and Ligur left the room to get it, Hastur sunk back into the sofa, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, maybe this home wouldn’t be so bad, maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo i hope that was good. Comments and Kudos are welcomed and encouraged. See ya next time, stay safe, stay happy, peace out!


	5. A glass of water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, sorry i've been gone for a while. I like my other story better then this one, or its just easier to write. Yeah, i'll try to write more often.

Ligur liked Hastur, he’d only known him for about an hour but well, he had a better feeling about him then he had ever had about any of the children he had met in the system. Anathema would be home soon and so would the others so Ligur grabbed the water he had gotten for Hastur and wondered back into the living room.

Hastur had put his hoodie back on, Ligur didn’t really blame him, he never liked it when other people saw his scars either. “Here ya go” Hastur smiled at him a little, though it looked more like a pained grimace to him. “Soooo the others are gunna be home soon do you want me to introduce you to them or do you wanna go back to your room, or mine, which ever”.

The boy simply shrugged at him, electing to go silent once again, in reality though Hastur desperately wanted to get out of the living room, to be alone, and to NOT meet other children who will most likely be cruel and horrible to him, just like everyone else in his life. Just because Ligur was okay, didn’t mean the rest would be.

“Well how about I introduce you to a few of them, not all, just a few” anxiety built up in Hastur’s chest, but he nodded, and tucked his chin between his legs closing his eyes. “Alright then, I’ll introduce you when they get back” Ligur picked his book back up and began to read again, humming a little as he began to rock again. 

Half an hour passed, Ligur reading, Hastur staring at a wall, desperately trying not to copy Ligur’s rocking and humming. Then there was a sound of a key turning in a lock, “Ligur, Hastur, we’re back” it was Anathema, Ligur put his book down and walked to the hallway, briefly looking back to the other boy.

Hastur heard the muffled voices of Ligur and Anathema, and other voices he didn’t recognise. Ligur came back into the room “You ready to meet some of the others?” Hastur hesitated but slowly nodded. So Ligur said something to the others in the hall and then led three other children into the room. 

“So this is Azzy,” he pointed at a plump looking boy with short curly hair, wearing a nice looking outfit with calm colours, Hastur didn’t like overly bright colours, so he smiled a little at the other boy, giving a little wave “Michael” then pointed at a tall girl with short brown hair, she was skinny and was wearing a pair of plae blue jeans and a white shirt, she seemed a little more cautious then Azzy, but he still waved at her. “And this is Beelze” a goth looking kid, with olive skin and dark hair, they were also short, and had a permanent frown on their face, but they still nodded at him, and he nodded back. 

“There are a lot more of us, but you can meet them at dinner, so yeah. I’m gunna go talk to Ana, I’ll be back in a sec” he ran out the room and Beelze rolled their eyes at him. 

“So, like Ligur said I’m Azzy, I like books and food, what about you?” well Azzy was very straight forward. 

Hastur just stared at the boy, not daring to speak. Then the other child spoke “You don’t speak much huh? Well I’m Beezle, I use they/them pronouns, respect them, I like black stuff. Your turn Mikey”. Michael smiled at him “I’m Michael, people call me Mikey or Mike sometimes, I like dancing and math. Can you speak? We can get you a notepad if you can’t” and that was when Ligur chose to come back into the room and answered the question for him.

“He can speak, just don’t do it much, but yeah we can get you a notebook if ya want it” Hastur shook his head no, he didn’t want a notepad, he didn’t wanted to be treated like some incapable freak. “That’s alright you don’t have to, we just wanted a way to communicate with you, but if you’re not ready that’s fine” it was Azzy who spoke, and again with a smile, it wasn’t a fake smile like Mrs Kip, it was soft and sincere, Hastur decided he liked Azzy.

He didn’t show it though, he turned away and curled up on the sofa the thoughts in his mind getting louder and louder, squeezing his eyes shut. “Is he okay?” Beelze whispered to Ligur, “Probably just over-whelmed is all, we should probably leave ‘im alone for little bit” “Yeah okay” Beelze nodded and wondered out of the room with the others by their side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah hope that was okay. Again i'll try and write more often, but i'm not good at it. Comments and kudos give me confidence and motivation, so if ya want me to carry on you should probably do that.


	6. Death is peaceful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of these characters seem very OC so sorry about that. I don't know much of Autism and PTSD i am simply basing it on things i have read and heard about. I do not mean to insult anyone. I would love ways i could make the disorder more realistic or just something i can do to represent people with these disorders properly.  
> Anyway on with the story my darlings.

Hastur had stayed curled up on the sofa for a while now, everything seemed so loud and bright. As well as, to his embarrassment, started to rock.

Unfortunately for Hastur, everything was about to get a whole lot worse. The front door once again bust open, but much, much louder than it had been other times before. “Helllooo!” a young girl’s voice called into the house, simultaneously piercing Hastur’s brain like a nail in a wall. He bit down onto his hand, starting to draw blood. 

Anathema rushed down the hallway and greeted the girl and the other children at the door, “Alala as much as I love your loud attitude dear, Hastur, the new child I have been talking about, and seems to be having a hard time adjusting, so just soft voices today, okay?” “Um sure”. “When can we meet him?” Anthony asked from the back of the group of children.

“Perhaps at dinner or breakfast tomorrow, he seems very stressed right now” “May I retrieve my tablet from the living room?” a boy called Amara asked, a quiet child, much the opposite of his friend Alala, “Alright, be quick though” “Of course”.

A soft footfall came down the corridor to the living room, however he froze in the doorway, not quite sure how to react to the sight in front of him. So, the boy backed away. Great, Hastur thought another person to think of him as a freak. He hears once again more muttering coming from the hall, the boy probably telling the other kids of his freakishness.

But the boy emerged not a minute later with a little box under his arm. More panic rose in Hastur’s chest, causing him to scramble back further along the sofa. The other boy seemed to see the problem and slowly raised his hands and kneeled down on the floor close to Hastur but not too close. He placed the little box on the floor and opened the lid. 

Inside the box was a pair of noise cancelling headphones, soft and general fidget toys, and many more little gadgets made to calm. Hastur stared at the box in fascination, “Hello Hastur, my name is Amara. May I touch you; I promise I mean no harm” the bo-Amara, waited patiently for Hastur’s response.

So, it was to both of their surprise when Hastur nodded, keeping his eyes fixated on Amara’s hands, avoiding his eyes. Slowly though, Amara stood up and came closer to Hastur and gently grasped his pale hand in his and removed the finger from the boys mouth, wiped it clean and wrapped a bandage around his damaged digit, no sign of disgust on his face.

“Would you like something from the box we have, you may make whatever sounds or movements you please as well” Hastur was surprised at the other boys words no one had ever let him do that before…Only punishments.

He eyed the box cautiously but eventually retrieved a small squishy ball and began to rock. He expected to be hit, or scolded or at least a strange look, but they never came. Amara simply smiled at him.

“Would you like me to retrieve Anathema? And we can go back to your room. You can either be alone or someone can stay with you.” Hastur was in shock, no one had never been so kind to him when he had these episodes.

He held up two fingers, to symbolise his wishes for the second option. “Do you wish to go back to you room?” a nod in return. “Alright” Amara stood up and held his hand out to Hastur once again with unbelievable patience. He once again smiled a soft smile, sort of like Azzy’s but calmer and less blinding and bright.

He led the boy up the stairs letting Hastur look back at other children sitting in the kitchen talking with who he assumed was another caregiver in the home. One of the children, another boy with fiery red hair and dark sunglasses, very tall and skinny, gave him a little wave. Hastur quickly looked down, but the boy still smiled at him.

Hastur fell on his bed at first but the fabric was too scratchy, so he sat on the floor instead, this didn’t appear to bother Amara though. “Do you wish me to stay, or to leave?” he asked, Hastur reached his hand out to Amara again, his body seeming to move without his minds command.

“Don’t worry I will stay if you wish” a nod “Then of course I will stay” Hastur hummed a sound of pleasure, something that had never happened before so a look of surprise swiftly covered his face. Amara chuckled at his face and Hastur blushed, the other boy settled himself next to the Hastur on the floor.

“Would you like me to talk or do you wish to just sit here, I am fine with either” Hastur shrugged not really caring he would probably zone out either way. “I shall stay relatively quitly and play on my tablet, would that be okay?” another nod “Alright”.

So, they stayed like that it was peaceful, hastur liked it.

Hastur like Amara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was okay. Always welcome to constructive criticism and just comments in general, i love talking to all of my readers, have a nice day my darlings, live well and eat cake, cus why not!


	7. Author's note

Okay so i know no one really reads this fic, but i've kinda lost motivation for this fic so you'll have to ask for requests if you want it to continue if so yeah, thats how this will probably go until i get motivation again, leave requsts plz, i will write them. Until then this fic will be rarely updated.  
-Purpledragon

Edit: I have removed Sandalphon from this fic so far because i found a better, i don't know, character fit? Just thought you should know that in case you get confused when i mention him later. Sorry i've been gone so long as well. I did write a whole chapter but then my word doc deleted itself, which sucked. Hehe, kill me. It'll be up as soon as i can get it though, i'm going to have a load of free time soon so hopefully i'll be able to get a chapter up soon! Fingers crossed!


	8. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back and with a longer chapter, thought you deserved it. Characters aren't mine.

Hastur and Amara stayed in Hastur’s room for only a few hours, Amara playing on his tablet and Hastur wondering to the back of his mind, seemingly staring into space.

Unfortunately, though, the peace was too soon interrupted by a knock at the door “Come in” Amara replied. It was Anathema, “Hello boys, dinner is ready if you want to come down now”. Hastur did not in fact, want to go down again, downstairs was where people were.

He went anyway, sulking as he followed Amara down the stairs. He was led to sit next to Ligur again and the strange red head boy who had waved at him earlier. A wave of chatter spread across the table making Hastur head pound.

He was distracted from the buzz when an old curly haired woman called his name “I didn’t know what you liked Hastur so I thought I’d just do something simple, I’m madame Tracy by the way, this is Shadwell sitting next to me” these people were so weird, most families didn’t even care if he ate, let alone if he liked something.

He let Tracy serve him some pasta, and then he waited. Waited until it was safe to eat. He could only eat If everyone else ate.

One time with one of his last families, had gotten… very upset, when he had started eating before he was told to. They had thrown his food on the floor and made him eat it like a dog, it had been humiliating.

Luckily for him everyone else seemed to be eating well except for a tall light-haired boy in front of him and a skinny dark-skinned kid at the other end of the table, who were just pushing food around on their plates, but Hastur supposed that didn’t really matter.

“Heya! My name Crowley, your Hastur right?” the red head sitting next to him, now named Crowley, tilted his head in Hastur’s direction, a small smile on his face. Despite the smile Hastur didn’t answer the other boy, he didn’t like talking much. It always used to unnerve his other families, but these people seemed to barely notice it.

“Would you like me to introduce you to our humble residents” Crowley was still talking a wider grin on his face now. Hastur shrugged his shoulders, he didn’t want to meet all the other children, but it was kind of inevitable.

“Ima take that as yes” oh, he was one of those people. Hastur always hated it when people tried to put words in his mouth. He especially hated when others would talk for him, he didn’t talk much himself sure, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t communicate.

“So, you’ve met Azzy, Beelze, Michael, Amara and Ligur yeah?” Hastur nodded. “Well, the boy sitting in between Bee and Mikey is Gabriel. Then there’s Uriel, then that’s Dagon and Alala, my fellow gingers” Dagon and Alala snorted at that.

Dagon sort of creeped Hastur out and Alala looked… just straight out violent to be honest. Gabriel and Uriel looked like their faces were permanently frozen in judgement, making Hastur squirm in his seat, shaking his long hair in front of his eyes again.

“The guy sitting next to the _wonderful_ Azzy is Trushit, and the kid next to him is Jade-Ahlai” “I’m not a kid Anthony, I’m _older_ than you”. Hastur was severely confused by the relationships between children in this household, he would have never been able to talk like that to another kid, let alone someone older than him.

“Of course, Madame Tracy and Shadwell at that end of the table” “That’s Sergeant Shadwell to you boy” oh, Crowley was so in for it now. Hastur waited for Shadwell to start yelling, or throwing things, anything really, but… nothing happened.

In fact, everyone was laughing, Shadwell just rolled his eyes at the children, and he smiled, a small smile but a fond one. Crowley leaned over to Hastur and whispered, “Shadwell’s not an actual Sergeant, he just likes to say that because he has a weird little hunting club, he drags Newt along to, where he’s a ‘Sergeant’”.

Hunting, Shadwell was a hunter, did that mean he had a gun? Hunting knifes? Would he hunt Hastur? Chase him through the woods? Hastur began to spiral further and further into his thoughts when suddenly Ligur touched his shoulder.

Hastur whipped his head back up, locking eyes with Ligur “You good?” he nodded, he always nodded. If someone asked him something, especially if they asked if you were okay, you always said yes. They didn’t need your problems.

“Oh, and that’s Newt next to Anathema, he’s out resident nerd” Newt smiled at him, albite a little nervously. Hastur smiled back for the first time, Newt didn’t seem scary, nor threatening, he wasn’t safe though. Nothing was ever safe for Hastur.

Everybody had gone back to eating now, settling into a comfortable silence. At some point when Hastur wasn’t looking, Crowley had taken his glasses off, and for the first time since he had arrived, he looked at Crowley, properly looked at him.

All he really saw the first time was his tall skinny frame and fiery red hair. Now though as he looked at him, without the sunglasses on Hastur noticed something far more interesting than he had seen so far.

The boy’s eyes were a bright golden yellow, his pupils were slits as well, making him look like some sort of snake.

“Like what you see?” Crowley smirked, making Hastur go back to staring at his dinner. Crowley laughed “It’s cool dude, I know my eyes aren’t exactly ‘normal’ are they” he put quotation marks on the word normal. “Anathema says I got something called Coloboma, makes ‘em look all snakey, the colour came free.”

Ligur chuckled next to him, “I told you people had weird eyes here” Hastur smiled nervously at him, these people continued to confuse him.

“Yeah! I mean, Gabriel’s eyes are friggen bright purple” Crowley said, and it was true, the brown-haired boy sitting across from had eyes were like nothing he had seen before. He wondered if Ligur’s eyes could turn purple too.

“Oh and Jade’s eyes are white” it shocked Hastur a little as he looked down at the teen at the end of the table, he was even more surprised by the mop of white hair that covered their white eyes, but he was quickly disappointed when he realised it was dyed.

Hastur had never met another kid with naturally white hair like his. It wasn’t like he was bothered by his… peculiarities well except for maybe his eyes, but that was just because people used them as an excuse to hurt him. Claiming that he had ‘scared’ them.

Mostly though Hastur was just grateful that people left him alone because of them. “Just a house full of weirdos!” Crowley clapped his hand down on Hastur’s shoulder, causing him to flinch, violently.

“Woah sorry mate” Hastur shivered, thankful he didn’t react too harshly this time “S’kay”. “Well,” Anathema started “I think it’s time we all turn in for the night, clear up your plates and off to bed!”.

The children collected their plates, dropping them in the dishwasher. Then raced up the stairs in hopes to get to the bathroom first. “Goodnight Hastur” Anathema said, smiling softly at him, he waved her goodnight. Maybe just maybe, this home wouldn’t be so bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i hope this was okay and you're all well. Leave comments and ideas! Or i shall run out of motivation. Stay safe!


	9. Waking up is hard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up is hard, Madame Tracy is a Queen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry i haven't updated in a while (like a little over a month, hehe) but i just got motivation to write this and well here we are! Hope you enjoy!

Waking up one child in the morning was hard enough waking up 13 was almost impossible. So, Anathema called it a massive achievement when at least two thirds of the household were downstairs and ready.

All that were left to come downstairs were Beelze, Crowley and Hastur. Anathema wasn’t particularly surprised by this notion, Crowley always seemed to be late for everything, Beelze honestly just didn’t like leaving the house in general (especially on the weekend) and she seriously doubted Hastur was even dressed yet despite Anathema having told him they were going out over an hour ago.

@@upstairs@@

Hastur was indeed not dressed, in fact the boy had barely moved from his place on the bed for the last hour and a half. He knew he had to get dressed, he knew people were waiting for him downstairs, he knew those people would be mad that he wasn’t dressed, be he couldn’t _move_.

So, he lay there and waited, waited for the inevitable yelling, and screaming that he was sure was soon to come. It didn’t matter how nice they had been the night before, no matter kind they seemed, Hastur had met ‘nice’ families before, they never stayed that way for long.

It was a few more minutes before Hastur heard a sudden knocking at his door. He stayed silent though, hoping the other person would go away and leave him to rot in his misery. Unfortunately for Hastur, said person was a stubborn one and wouldn’t let him get away that easily.

“Hello Hastur, it’s Madame Tracy, are you ready yet?” Hastur still didn’t reply, but he did hear a soft sigh from the other side of the door, Madame Tracy didn’t sound angry though, just tired.

“Hastur, I’m going to come in now okay? Because I don’t think you’re going to be answering me any time soon” this was true, Hastur had no intention to talking to anyone anytime soon (Ligur had been a onetime thing).

Madame Tracy opened the door and survived the empty room “Oh honey, we really need to get you some new things, I forgot how boring these rooms look before we decorate”. She looked down at Hastur’s and seeing his crumpled from gave another soft sigh and crouched down to sit beside the bed to look at Hastur.

“Didn’t feel like getting up today huh?” Hastur gave a weak nod “That’s okay, Beelze didn’t feel like getting up today either, I had to practically drag them out of bed” Tracy smiled a fond smile, almost making Hastur laugh.

“But” she went on “We do need to get ready, doesn’t matter if it takes a little while, we don’t need to be anywhere in a hurry, we’ve just got to get there”. She gently pried the blanket that Hastur had been buried under from his grip, not taking it away completely, simply folding it over his legs making it easier to get out of the bed. Hastur didn’t try to stop her.

“Now, how about you try your best to get yourself out of that bed and I’ll get you some clothes, mind showing me where your bag is?” Madame Tracy asked kindly and Hastur pointed to the small backpack under the bed.

Madame Tracy said nothing of the bags strange hiding place, she had met many children similar to Hastur. Wary of everyone, never unpacked their bags, knowing a home was never forever. It saddened the woman to know how much these children had been through in so little time, but all she could do was show them what a true home should look like, feel like.

“Right I’ve got your clothes now all you’ve got to do is roll yourself out of that bed and put on some clothes, does that sound good?”. Hastur eventually nodded plucking up enough courage to push himself off the bed onto the floor beside Madame Tracy. She placed the clothes in his lap “I’m going to come and get you in 15 minutes, do you think you’ll be ready by then?”. Hastur did not in fact think he would be done in 15 minutes, but he nodded anyway.

Hastur didn’t 100% understand why Madame Tracy was helping him, most other families would just leave him alone if he didn’t get up, or they would drag him out by his hair. He didn’t complain though, it was sort of… nice to have someone be so gentle.

He did stay on the floor for a little while after Tracy left but he finally lifted himself off the floor and wrangled himself into a shirt and a pair of jeans with a great deal of struggle.

As promised Madame Tracy came back in after he was done, leading him downstairs, a place he definitely did not want to be. “Hey, your up!” Crowley said, jumping up from his place on the couch to the other boy’s side “Anathema is taking us out to get school stuff, and probably get you some other stuff as well, she also promised us lunch, which doesn’t happen often, cus ya know, there’s a lot of us”.

Hastur had started to notice that Crowley was a very loud person, and never stopped moving, he also seemed to prefer the company of Azzy, who was almost the exact opposite of the ginger, a normally quiet boy who much preferred to be snuggled up inside reading a book.

This was clear when Anathema was herding the 7 of her 13 children into the (very large) car as Crowley was now trying to convince Azzy to actually leave the house.

“Azzy doesn’t really like going out that much” Hastur almost jumped out of his skin when Ligur spoke from behind him. “Ligur, stop that” Michael said, glaring at the boy “I didn’t do nothin’ Mikey!” “Yes, you did, you’re doing that freaky ‘not making any noise when you walk’ thing”. Hastur was quietly laughing at the two for the first time while being in the house, he didn’t even notice when the two in front of him had stopped arguing.

“Damn, guys what you do to make quiet kid make a sound” it was Beelze standing in between Ligur and Michael now they had finally come downstairs. The smile dropped from Hastur’s face as he let his long hair fall in front of his face again, not making eye contact with anyone but the floor.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it in a bad way” Beelze tilted their head at him “He spoke to me yesterday, didn’t ya Hastur?”. Hastur shrugged at Ligur’s words, he didn’t really know why he had felt compelled to speak to Ligur, he hardly spoke in general, let alone to people he barely knew.

But, he guessed, Ligur was different to everyone else, he fidgeted in every way he wanted to, something Hastur wished he could do to stop the crawling feeling that constantly haunted his skin, he had all these special interests (Hastur had seen him read at least three different books on lizards in his short time here). Hastur had seen Ligur ask Anathema so many questions he thought for sure the other boy would be slapped, but he never was, his questions were always answered, Hastur never got answers to his questions. Ligur didn’t _care_ about what people thought of him, he spoke his mind and did what he wanted.

Hastur wished he could be like Ligur, wished he could be free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hope that was okay, i sort of based this off about how i wish people would reacts to my executive dysfunction and the skin crawly thing is how i feel when under over stimulated, basically i'm projecting onto Hastur. More chapters soon (I hope don't hold me to that)


	10. Golden frogs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's talk pencils, paper and hyperfixations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dragon updating twice in the same month? Impossible!  
> Anyway enjoy the chapter, i really like this one.

The shopping centre was loud and bright and Hastur didn’t like it, he clenched his hands around his ears, trying his best not breakdown. Mrs Kip hated it when he had meltdowns, especially in public, it never ended well Hastur if he had his meltdowns, so he’d suffer in silence, just like always.

“Are you alright?” Hastur looked up to see Michael staring down on him, he gave a stiff nod, very obviously lying “Too loud?”. Hastur looked at the girl sceptically as she shrugged her bag off her shoulder, digging around for a few minutes until she produced a pair of headphones form the deep confines of her bag.

“They’re noise cancelling, I always bring spares. Ligur hates shopping centres too” Michael said shoving the headphones in his direction. Michael was the second person from that household to not judge nor get angry during his meltdowns, Hastur decided Michael was in his good books for now.

“Right, you lot go off and find your own things, meet at the food court at one, got it?” Anathema called out to her multitudes of children. A series of “Yes Ana”s were yelled before the group started to split off.

“Now Hastur, you can come with me, Newt, Ligur and Beelze if you’d like?” Hastur nodded, not very keen on going off in a place he didn’t know, alone. “Great, off to get you some nice new things then” and off they went.

@@time skip@@

Hastur had discovered that he indeed did not like shopping. Anathema and Newt were very nice and all getting him all this new stuff, like clothes, wash supplies and even things to just fill his room. Hastur just really didn’t like being around so many people and having to make so many decisions was stressful.

Luckily, for Hastur they were almost done, all that was need now was school supplies. Ligur, Anathema and Beelze (who was sitting in the shopping cart) were picking stuff out for themselves and him so Hastur was free to wonder the aisle.

He hadn’t gone far before he came to a wonderful, coloured pencil set. Hastur had always liked drawing granted he didn’t get to do it often considering he didn’t have anything to draw with. He knew he couldn’t have it though, he’d gotten enough stuff today, he didn’t need anything more, he wasn’t allowed to ask for things, that’s what Mrs Kip had taught him, “be unproblematic and maybe they’ll keep you longer, they don’t care about you, so shut up”.

“Would you like that?” Hastur snapped his head around, coming face to face with Newton. Hastur hadn’t really met Newt yet, he had seemed nice at dinner, but that didn’t mean anything. Pastor Meta had seemed nice and well… words and looks can be deceiving.

Hastur shook his head “Well you looked very entranced by them, I’d by happy to buy you some pencils if you want, even a sketchbook to draw on” Newt said softly. Hastur looked back at the pencils before sliding them off the shelf as well as a small sketchbook. Newt smiled brightly at the white-haired boy.

“Do you like to draw?” Hastur reluctantly nodded “Well I’d love to see something you’ve drawn, I bet you’re an awesome artist” Hastur blushed, no one had ever complimented him on his art, and Newt had even seen it and he thought it was… awesome.

Hastur cautiously put the notebook and pencils in the shopping cart, glancing up at Anathema waiting for her to tell him to put it back. Surprisingly, (for Hastur) she said nothing and even smiled at him and for once, he smiled back

“Can we go eat now?” Beelze said from their place in the shopping cart

@@and another time skip@@

Hastur had rarely ever got taken out for food, he barely gotten food at foster homes in general, so once again, he was in completely unknown territory. “Watcha gunna get Hast?” Ligur said turning to him, Hastur shrugged. “Well, what do you really not want?” Hastur pointed the quiche and soups “Oh yeah, quiche is gross” Michael chuckled at Ligur, “How about you share some pizza with me?” she said, “Just plain cheese”, Hastur nodded he liked pizza, he knew that.

Hastur sat back as the others chatted with eachother and for once in his life he didn’t feel left out of the conversations. When you don’t talk, most people assume you don’t listen, and then they talk around you and don’t even try to communicate with you. However, this family seemed thrilled at every little nod or shake of the head he gave, never pushed him to say more, accepted his answers just like they would with one who spoke verbally.

By the time food had arrived Hastur had managed to encourage Ligur into describing every chameleon species there was, he froze however when the other boy asked him “What’s your favourite animal?”. Hastur knew what he would love to talk about, he had tried to do it with other families before, they had always cut him off but, Ligur wouldn’t… would he?

He set his pizza back on his plate and started to play with his hands “… Frogs”. Hastur heard Michael choke on her pizza next to him “I’m fine, I’m fine, continue” she said. He turned back to Ligur with a shocked look on his face “It’s ‘kay, she just wasn’t expecting you to speak” Ligur took another bite off his pasta “So! What’s your favourite type of frog?”.

Still slightly scared, Hastur very quietly answered, “Golden Dart Frog… it’s one of the deadliest frogs in the world”. Ligur’s face split into a wide grin, “Really? That’s so cool! How deadly is it?” “…They have enough poison to kill 10 grown men” “Wow, what else do you know about frogs” Hastur let a wide grin almost as large as Ligur’s as the boy continued to ask questions letting him take time answering them

Hastur hadn’t had a conversation like this in years, getting lost in every detail, letting his eyes gleams like the darkest gems in the ocean, letting his body free from his mental confines, not caring about anything or anyone and for just a moment everything was peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me projecting onto fictional characters? Nooo, never.  
> Also, I may have developed a new hyperfixsation.  
> And who’s Pastor Meta? Find out next time on PurpleDragon’s crappy writing skills!
> 
> Also happy holidays, maybe leave a comment as a gift (You don't have to by the way, it would just make me happy)!  
> Hope you're all safe, happy and eating whatever you like best!


	11. Cooking and panic attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cooking and panic attacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back but no one really reads this story so i might just be talking to myself. Enjoy me giving Hastur more trauma!

Anathema smiled as she watched Hastur chatter away with Ligur. It made her heart sore that the child could become so comfortable with someone in such a short amount of time. When she had first started fostering children it had taken months to form any kind of substantial bond.

Granted she knew Hastur probably wouldn’t be trusting her or any other adult any time soon but at least it was a start.

Getting the children home was a lot easier than getting them out. Most went back to their rooms when they got back. Some stayed in the living room, watching some tv program Anathema had never seen before. She let them relax for the rest of the afternoon, occasionally reminding a certain few to do their homework.

Eventually the sun started to set, and Anathema started to think about dinner. She wondered back into living room,

“Would you like to help me make dinner?”

Azira looked up from his book “I’d love to” he turned to the boy next to him “Crowley?”

“Nah, I’ve gotta go finish some fricking homework”,

“Ah, well good luck. Hastur, Ligur?”

Hastur shrugged, he didn’t like cooking very much. He was good at it, sure, considering most foster homes just left him to his own devices, which pretty much meant he had to make sure he didn’t die and feed himself. He just didn’t like the idea of cooking for other people, he could do so many things wrong and get punished in so many ways for it.

“I wanna cook, come on Hastur it’ll be fun” Ligur jumped up but Hastur stayed on the sofa, he picked at the peeling leather on his gloves not quite sure what to do. Ligur paused “You okay…?”.

Hastur nodded trying to get his eyes to refocus on the world around them. He rose from the sofa, albeit a bit shakily, he smiled a bit at Ligur but still didn’t quite know what to do.

“Can I grab your hand?” Ligur asked, his head tilted in concern. Hastur nodded, reaching for the other boy’s hand glad for anyway to ground himself.

Ligur led Hastur by the hand to the kitchen “What we makin’ Ana?”

Anathema smiled at the two boys, “Curry and rice, I’m going to cut up the food, Azira is going to make the rice and you two can make the sauce. Here’s the recipe go find what you need from the pantry”.

“Right, lets go Hastur, we’ve got ingredients to find”,

They got to the pantry and Ligur suddenly froze in front of it, “Um… can you go in and find the stuff, everything’s in sections and labelled. I-um, I just don’t like small spaces”.

Hastur nodded, he didn’t mind small spaces, he hid in them a lot in his other foster homes after all. Ligur was looking at the pantry like it was some kind of horror movie trap, maybe he’d had some bad experience with tight spaces, which was fair, Hastur didn’t like water for similar reasons.

So, he took the list from Ligur and wandered into the pantry. It was indeed very easy to find all the spices and other ingredients from the shelves. He passed the ingredients to Ligur once he got back to the kitchen and he began to cut up the tomatoes and measure the spices and cream.

Hastur just watched as the three people worked. He was good at watching people, staying silent and seeing how people acted when they were alone and when they were with other people. People acted very different when they were alone than when they were with others, Hastur knew that very well.

Ligur was nice when alone with Hastur and with other people. He was the one that made Hastur most comfortable in the house, heck he was the first person he had talked to in months.

Hastur was still wary with Anathema like he was with most adults, she didn’t seem horrible. It looked like she cared about all the children in her care and acted nice, but he still didn’t know much about her, but he did know enough to feel… alright around her.

Azira was an entirely different case, Hastur knew nothing about him and had very few interactions with him. Which is why he started to freak out when Anathema and Ligur left the kitchen to go help Madame Tracy with something.

He sat at the kitchen table, biting at the skin on his nails until they bled. Azira turned around from where he had been stirring the curry suddenly looking at Hastur with great concern.

“Hastur?” Azira tried to reach out to him but stopped when Hastur flinched as he came closer “I’m going to get Anathema, um please stay here” the other boy rushed out of the kitchen letting Hastur take a shaky breath.

His peace was soon interrupted however by Anathema coming back in the kitchen. Hastur was fairly sure his heart leaped up to his throat when she grabbed his wrist, an image of a tall man wearing a cross flashed across his vision as he fell backwards.

Anathema backed away from him, but she was still talking to him, Hastur couldn’t understand what she was saying but it didn’t seem angry. She led him to the living room and let him calm down by himself this time.

It wasn’t long before Hastur was aware of the world around him, he groaned and buried his head in his arms. He did it again, another stupid meltdown, Mrs Kip was going to kill him.

Anathema chose this time to creep forward and kneel in front of him “Dinner is ready now; would you like to come eat?”.

Despite the sick feeling he felt at the bottom of his stomach, he nodded, it would be stupid to refuse food even when he didn’t want to eat it. Anathema guided him back out to the living room, they were about to enter the dining room when Hastur saw the other children coming down the stairs, causing his whole entire body to freeze.

Anathema smiled at him in sympathy “Would you like to eat in your room?”

Hastur nodded quickly, the idea of being around people right now made him want to bang his head against the wall. He trudged up the stairs back to his room where he collapsed on his bed. He had already shoved the plate of curry Anathema had given him across his desk as he let a shaky sob rack his body, he had screwed up  **again**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Okay so um, i'm definitely projecting my issues onto Hastur, let's not tell my therapist about that. Comments and kudos are appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe sorry, i hope this was okay, more chapters coming, comments and kudos are welcomed and encouraged. Please no mean ones tho. Updates may vary either really quick or really slow, i dunno. See ya next time.


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